Cirque Du Soleil Saltimbanco last Friday

As many know, I have been attempting to supplement our income by reselling tickets. I do not recommend this as a primary means of income, though some do well with this as their primary source of income. As the old adage states, “It takes money to make money.” If you can’t afford to lose the money, then do not buy tickets with the money! It also takes time, knowledge, and consistency. Being currently retired and unemployed, I have the time. This includes the time it takes to acquire knowledge and to be consistent. I join internet forums of ticket resellers and pick their brains. I read articles, learn about the organizations that host the majority of ticket reselling, and study how to use various community networks to advertise my tickets. I also learn the seating charts of local venues and the pros and cons of various seats at different times of the day and season. I join specific organizations and subscribe to certain credit cards. I also have the time to discipline myself to accomplish specific daily and weekly tasks. Daily tasks include reading and responding to correspondence, packaging and shipping tickets, collecting and distributing money, and keeping good records. Weekly tasks include buying the tickets, advertising the tickets, and as a last resort hawking the tickets. The last mentioned task means I typically purchase only local venues, and because of my distaste for hawking I am forced to do my other tasks exceptionally well so as to prevent this task :-) With this background, I can now explain what happened this past Friday. I am a Cirque Club member. When Cirque Du Soleil Saltimbanco tickets went on presale for Salt Lake City, I pulled two front row tickets for each of last week’s evening performances. Friday’s performance usually commands the most interest. However, Friday evening was the only performance I didn’t sell (remember how I said seasons are important? This summer many people are camping on the weekends.) Both Ma and Pa are huge Cirque Du Soleil fans; therefore we decided to go ourselves (a fringe benefit of reselling tickets!) Our seats were better than I knew! We were front row center stage. When the performers started the show they paraded off the stage, stood and faced us in the first row, and pulled us up out of our seats. Ma was protesting; the whole arena was laughing! She finally complied. I mimicked what the performers were doing as they paraded us to the side of the stage. Suddenly, they all ran back to our seats and sat down, leaving us stranded with everyone laughing. The head performer came out and chastised them for sitting in our seats, especially seeing how they didn’t have tickets. They all produced tickets! He then yelled at them to get back up on stage and we were allowed to take our seats. The skills and talents were amazing! There were feats of strength, grace, gymnastics, cycling, juggling, drumming, high-wire, trapeze, etc. The band and the singing were excellent. The comedy kept everyone laughing! This one comedy act involved a clown doing pantomime. A man in the audience to the left of the stage was spotlighted; the clown would pretend to throw him a ball and he would have to throw it back. Then this was repeated with a woman to the right of the stage. Finally the spotlight shined toward the center stage rows and I turned around to see who was spotlighted. Ma says, “It’s you!” I look at the clown and he motions me to stand-up. He throws me the imaginary ball and I pretend to catch it. He motions me to throw it back, and I do. He makes it seem like it was a sissy throw! He throws it back to me and motions to me to burn one in. So I give it a full Red Sox wind-up and follow-through as if it was the bottom of the ninth and we only needed one strike to win the game. That’s when this clown raised his comedy to an unprecedented level. He makes it look like I hit him in the mouth and that the ball is stuck there. He gets everyone laughing hard and then comes off the stage and gets in my face; I have to cower behind Ma. Now the crowd can’t stop laughing! He has me give him a back blow to try and dislodge the ball in his mouth. After a well-executed American Heart Association back blow, he makes me look like a sissy again! So, I do another wind-up and make it look like I’m trying to kill the guy. He goes through all the contortions of swallowing the ball and gives me the dirtiest looks, which now has everyone howling with laughter. He finally goes back up on stage and we get to see the ball travelling through his entire GI tract. He goes into an outhouse and lifts-up the toilet seat. He makes these horrendous gestures from the stink of someone previously not flushing the toilet. He accuses me of not flushing, and he gets the whole arena to howl with laughter again. If I had had the presence of mind, and could have stopped from laughing so much myself, I would have pointed at Ma as the one who hadn’t flushed; that would have gotten the crowd really raring with laughter. And so was our Friday night. Ma and Pa are glad that these two tickets didn't sell!